So, today is Markus' Birthday.
Happy Birthday...
He flew back to Germany exactly a year ago... We've known each other for exactly a year.. and today would've been our one year anniversary if we were still together.
We got to know each other at British Council during a 2 week english composition course. We were too shy to initiate a conversation during the first week.. but on monday of the second week, i decided to man up and talk to him.. starting with Kiel. Since it was the only Germany related place I knew cos Kim and Sav were there at that time. So.. it went like... "do you stay in Kiel?" "No, munich" and we talked about a bunch of stuff at the cafeteria on the first floor of BC. But at that time, I was getting used to his accent and trying to make sense of what he was saying and... I didn't even catch 50% of what he said :P The rest of the week pretty much passed like that.. talking during class and lunch and after class.. Lessons were really interesting cos it was funny how he tried all ways just to sit beside me and soon the 2 of us just focused on each other and not on Mr Mick Reid anymore :P on the last day though, 22 June, one day before his bday, Felix Michael, Saho and I decided to celebrate his bday. Felix bought a cake from Juccheim and I distracted him before class so that they can prepare the cake. Yeap he was surprised and that was the day we got together at night.. He recorded a song he played for me Yiruma-A river flows in you before he left and I cried like schitt.
Anyways, i really wanted to sustain a long term relationship with him at the start.. but after awhile... i realised that it wasn't possible at all. I knew that we were gonna break up one day..
6 months later when he came to SG for holiday (after insisting and quarrelling with his parents that he has to come) and we went out on dates and stuff... loved it. but on the last day of our "date" i prepared him about the prospect of us breaking up. Lots of water works...
As the days went by after he left... I had even more of the feeling that the relationship won't work out...
When school started... I didn't let anyone know that I have a boyfriend... simply because I wanted to leave my options open (BITCH!) and I didn't wanna let the news spread so I think he guessed the reason and it hurt him a lot. The thing about JC is that... I got to know many types of guys here. The sensitive one, the jerk one, and those who tease. This made me realise that I don't know Markus very well. Yes, he's nice.. but that's only to me as far as I can tell because I'm his gf. Moreover, it's different finding out about the person from experiencing it first hand than him telling you about himself... Plus. i didn't want to tie him down and similarly, I didn't want to be tied down. So that was when i seriously started to rethink our relationship and consider breaking up with him. I confided in Isaac Wong about this. Er, not much to tell. SO. told Markus about it and we went on trial. Broke up on 16 February. And he played me another song Yiruma - Kiss the rain.
He still kept in contact with Theodora after the break up and they talked about me occasionally. Until earlier in June (6 June) when he finally told her that he's over me.
I'm so happy for him. He can finally find someone else better, someone else who will treasure him better than I did. He's a great guy and... yea.. he needs that someone who will treasure him...
But anyways, all the lovebirds right now like Tang&Sav, Tan&Kris is making me jealous of their relationship and guilty that I took for granted what we had..
So when I wished him happy birthday just now and striked a convo with him.. I get half hearted replies and he takes long to reply me.. So I guess.. it really shows that he's over me. Au contraire to what Theodora thinks about him faking it. Thing is, I'm not used to being treated like that.. I'm always his priority and now... the feeling sucks. But I should let him go.. and stop holding on to the past.. wish him well on his future endeavours.
Soon, I'll be nothing but a distant and painful memory. But that's the way it should be.. and it should remain that way.
Markus, Happy 17th Birthday once again.. Thank you for the wonderful memories and for attending to me first all the time.. Thanks for being such a great confidant, keeping my secrets, cheering me up and telling me things would turn out alright.. Thank you.. And I'm so sorry I broke you heart all the same. I'm happy that you have moved on, really. But you'll find out in time to come that the break up is worth it cos you'll find someone else who will truly appreciate you. I hope you excel in whatever you do. Goodbye my dear.
